Escondido Falls – many firsts for me and our family

On By Estifito MurcielagoIn Lifestyle & SportsLeave a comment

Escondido Falls is one of the best, though quite easy, hikes in Southern California. Every so often my wife and I go back. It’s close by, fairly flat, and not overcrowded. This last iteration was truly special. It was Little R’s first hike. I grew up outside, wandering the Appalachian Mountains of Central Pennsylvania – or at least the little slice I called home. Getting the little guy outside early to experience nature is a high priority of mine.

Escondido Falls was like I have never seen before – for two reasons. The area was in a drought each time I’ve been on this hike in the past. No water; the streams were dry and there was no water fall. Today was different and it was beautiful. We also saw some of the Woolsey Fire damage up close. So much vegetation has regrown, which shows the resilience of life. Seeing the charred tree trunks, however, was sobering. It’s only a matter of time until the next one, but it’s sad to see.

The little guy had a blast. He started off front facing on my torso, but ended up being more comfortable on my back. A little too comfy. About 15 minutes into the hike on my back, he dozed off; he rejoined us after a solid 45 minutes. He missed the waterfall, but I don’t think a 10 month old really cares too much about that as much as they care about experiencing new things. He clearly had a blast. He bounced and flailed his arms almost the entire time he was awake.

The hike itself is pretty easy. The hardest part is the walk to the trailhead. Once you get there, it’s pretty much a flat walk with quite a bit of tree cover to keep you shaded. It takes about 30-40 minutes one way to get to the falls. You need to cross four streams on your way, but the water is shallow and trial pioneers left rocks and logs laying across the streams to pass easily.

This is true with any hike, but take your time and enjoy the wilderness. So often we just hike on a path and watch our feet or look straight ahead at where the path is leading. I made a conscious effort to stop our crew and take in the mountains, trees, and wildlife at any point we could. In the time to come, you’ll remember seeing the bluejay darting from tree to tree, not the way the dust kicked from your boots on a worn out track of land.

The falls themselves are no Niagara, but when you live in a dry climate, just seeing water slowing tumble down the side of a cliff is refreshing. A lot of people climb the cliff to the east of the waterfall (your right as you approach), which isn’t too challenging and gives you a great view of the Santa Monica Mountains. With Little R on my back, that really wasn’t an option. My wife and I did it a few years ago, and it’s definitely worth it if you feel your fit enough to get to a high enough point.

A couple of tips. If going in the summer, go early or late, midday is hot and the trees don’t offer as much cover from the sun. Bring water and stay hydrated. It’s dog friendly, so bring your four legged friend, but don’t forget water for them. They’ll need it, too. And please keep them on their leash.

Being the bearer of bad news

On By Estifito MurcielagoIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

You’re fired!

No one wants to hear that. Maybe equally, no one wants to deliver that message. 

If you’re in a management position that oversees employees, you’ve likely had to carry this burden. 

Too often when communicating bad news, like termination or even just criticism, people worry too much about themselves. They think, “how is the person receiving this information going to feel about me?” The truth is, it doesn’t matter. They’ll hate you, curse you, or shrug you off, but that’s their burden. You can’t change how they will feel about you – but you can decide how you feel about them.

Instead, the bearer of bad news should truly consider how the recipient will feel. 

I’m not suggesting you start lashing out at the company or commiserating with the person getting the notice. Don’t play off that you’re just the messenger. That’s not going to do you nor them any favors. No one feels good leaving that meeting. That may feel like a short term win for you, but you’ve not done well by them. You shouldn’t hate the person you’re delivering bad news to, and by doing the latter, you’re letting them down.

I’m merely suggesting you deliver your message with their perspective in mind. It’ll change the words you use and it’ll change the inflection in your voice. 

Those things matter. The people getting the bad news, they receive those vibes. 

How do you get there? How do you empathize? First, ditch your pride. Maybe you’re good at empathy, so this isn’t a problem, but if you’re not, chances are you’ll mask it with pride. You’ll mask it by pretending you don’t care about them or how they feel; you’ll mask it by pretending it doesn’t affect you. 

Consult a colleague, someone you trust, someone who can share their feelings on the message. Take those things to heart. I’ve done it; I’ve asked coworkers for their thoughts on a tough call I had to make, I’ve taken their feelings and really considered them. Then, I have my meeting. I swallow the pill and meet the person or dial their number. 

The nerves you feel before that call, wondering how they will feel, embrace them. That’s your empathy. Then roll with it. 

They may be upset (chances are that’s the case). I’ve even had instances when the person on the other side was relieved. That’s because when you know why they are performing poorly or why they are having those issues, it is much easier to understand why the situation they are in is not in their best interest. There’s no need to throw that in their face, but just recognizing it gives you a new perspective when choosing how to deliver the message.

I’m far from an expert at communicating bad news. Fortunately I’m not in that position often. I am, however, really good at meeting people on their playing field. That’s important. If you’re on a different field, or even playing an entirely different game, you’ll always struggle to manage people effectively. 

That’s what it is all about, swallowing pride and learning to play the same game as those you’re managing. Delivering a tough message is never easy, but don’t handcuff yourself by going in with the wrong mindset.