You’re fired!

No one wants to hear that. Maybe equally, no one wants to deliver that message. 

If you’re in a management position that oversees employees, you’ve likely had to carry this burden. 

Too often when communicating bad news, like termination or even just criticism, people worry too much about themselves. They think, “how is the person receiving this information going to feel about me?” The truth is, it doesn’t matter. They’ll hate you, curse you, or shrug you off, but that’s their burden. You can’t change how they will feel about you – but you can decide how you feel about them.

Instead, the bearer of bad news should truly consider how the recipient will feel. 

I’m not suggesting you start lashing out at the company or commiserating with the person getting the notice. Don’t play off that you’re just the messenger. That’s not going to do you nor them any favors. No one feels good leaving that meeting. That may feel like a short term win for you, but you’ve not done well by them. You shouldn’t hate the person you’re delivering bad news to, and by doing the latter, you’re letting them down.

I’m merely suggesting you deliver your message with their perspective in mind. It’ll change the words you use and it’ll change the inflection in your voice. 

Those things matter. The people getting the bad news, they receive those vibes. 

How do you get there? How do you empathize? First, ditch your pride. Maybe you’re good at empathy, so this isn’t a problem, but if you’re not, chances are you’ll mask it with pride. You’ll mask it by pretending you don’t care about them or how they feel; you’ll mask it by pretending it doesn’t affect you. 

Consult a colleague, someone you trust, someone who can share their feelings on the message. Take those things to heart. I’ve done it; I’ve asked coworkers for their thoughts on a tough call I had to make, I’ve taken their feelings and really considered them. Then, I have my meeting. I swallow the pill and meet the person or dial their number. 

The nerves you feel before that call, wondering how they will feel, embrace them. That’s your empathy. Then roll with it. 

They may be upset (chances are that’s the case). I’ve even had instances when the person on the other side was relieved. That’s because when you know why they are performing poorly or why they are having those issues, it is much easier to understand why the situation they are in is not in their best interest. There’s no need to throw that in their face, but just recognizing it gives you a new perspective when choosing how to deliver the message.

I’m far from an expert at communicating bad news. Fortunately I’m not in that position often. I am, however, really good at meeting people on their playing field. That’s important. If you’re on a different field, or even playing an entirely different game, you’ll always struggle to manage people effectively. 

That’s what it is all about, swallowing pride and learning to play the same game as those you’re managing. Delivering a tough message is never easy, but don’t handcuff yourself by going in with the wrong mindset.